SCHMEGMA

***NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND ***

--"Hancock" - starring Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero who turns to public relations expert Jason Bateman to improve his image.  Charlize Theron is Jason Bateman's all too tempting wife.  (PG-13)  (Opened Yesterday)

Official Site:  http://www.hancock-movie.com/

--"Kit Kittredge:  An American Girl" - starring "Little Miss Sunshine's" Abigail Breslin as a girl who tries to save her family's home by solving the mystery of who's behind the robberies in her neighborhood during the Great Depression.  (G)  (Opened Yesterday)

(--Will Smith's 7-year-old daughter, Willow, is also in it . . . so it's probably no small coincidence that this movie is opening on the same day as "Hancock".)

Official Site:  http://www.kitkittredge.com/

--In L.A. and New York . . . "The Wackness" - starring "Drake & Josh's" Josh Peck as a guy TRADING DOPE FOR THERAPY with his shrink, played by Ben Kingsley.  (R)

(Opens Today)

(--The rest of the cast includes . . . Method Man, Mary-Kate Olsen, "X-Men" minx Famke Janssen and gorgeous Olivia Thirlby, who you may remember from "Juno".)

Official Site:  http://www.sonyclassics.com/thewackness/

--In limited release . . . "Diminished Capacity" - starring Matthew Broderick as a man recovering from a concussion who decides to take his senile uncle (Alan Alda) on a road trip with his high school sweetheart, Virginia Madsen.  (Not Rated)  (Opens Friday)

Official Site:  http://www.ifcfilms.com/viewFilm.htm?filmId=776

--In New York only . . . "Kabluey" - a comedy starring Lisa Kudrow as a woman trying to keep her demonic kids in line while her husband's fighting in Iraq.  So she's forced to let her slacker brother-in-law come live with her.  (PG-13)  (Opens Friday)

Official Site:  http://www.kabluey.com/

HERE ARE THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF "THE DARK KNIGHT": 

You can watch the first five minutes of "The Dark Knight" here . . . and it looks pretty cool . . .

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/entertainment_movies_blog/2008/07/dark-knight-the.html

(--"The Dark Knight" hits theaters two weeks from tomorrow.)

THURSDAY TV REMINDERS:  (--Check your local listings.)

--"Last Comic Standing" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  (--The 2nd week of semifinal rounds are held in Las Vegas with talent scouts Richard Belzer and Steve Schirripa.)

--"So You Think You Can Dance" [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"My Boys" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TBS.  (--"My Big Fat Greek Wedding's" Nia Vardalos guest stars as a co-worker who talks Andy into taking an improv class.)

--"Live From Abbey Road" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Sundance.  (--Panic At The Disco, David Gray and Suzanne Vega perform.)

--"Soundstage" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on PBS.  (--REO Speedwagon performs.)

DID MEGAN FOX BREAK UP WITH BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN??? 

IS A-ROD'S WIFE NAILING LENNY KRAVITZ??? 

RUSH LIMBAUGH HAS SIGNED A $400 MILLION DEAL:  Good guys not only finish last . . . they also rarely make this kind of money:  RUSH LIMBAUGH has signed a deal with Clear Channel to keep his particularly popular form of political drivel on the radio through the year 2016.

SHANNEN DOHERTY *IS* IN TALKS TO JOIN THE "90210" SPIN-OFF:

A GUY PAID A PROSTITUTE WITH A GAS CARD:

PEOPLE ARE SPENDING THEIR ECONOMIC STIMULUS CHECKS . . . ON INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY???

A MAN FOUND A CHICKEN HEAD IN A BAG OF FROZEN CHICKEN WINGS:

 (--Check out a picture of this chicken head here . . .)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1368079.ece

SIX PEOPLE IN NEW JERSEY HAVE BEEN POISONED BY DRINKING TIKI TORCH FUEL . . . BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS APPLE JUICE???

APPARENTLY, IF YOU WANT TO WALK AROUND NAKED IN YOUR APARTMENT . . . THE POLICE WON'T HELP IF PEOPLE SPY ON YOU:

***FOUR WAYS NOT TO BREAK

UP WITH SOMEONE***

There's really no easy way to kick someone to the curb . . . but you shouldn't prolong a relationship if you're not feeling it.  Here are four things you SHOULDN'T do when you break up with someone . . .

#1.)  AVOID BREAKING UP.  It's not cool to abruptly stop seeing someone . . . and ASSUME they'll get the picture.  Grow a pair and tell the person you were dating that you don't want to be with them anymore.

#2.)  USING A LINE.  You know a line when you hear it:  "It's not you, it's me" or, "You're a really nice person, but . . ."  Just speak your mind and let the person know how you're feeling.

#3.)  USING AN E-MAIL OR TEXT MESSAGE.  If you want to look like a coward, then yeah, go ahead and do this.  But if you want to end the relationship with dignity, DON'T do this.  Do it in person.

#4.)  PUTTING SOMEONE DOWN.  If your partner isn't expecting a break-up, then they could get angry . . . and things could get ugly.  But whatever happens, don't put them down.  Take the high road and keep things as polite as you can.

(Match.com)

***VIDEOS OF THE DAY***

#1.)  Watch these two old French dudes try to beat each other up.

http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=529558

(Search terms:  old dudes fight)

#2.)  This woman crashes into the exit gate after she pays the toll.

http://www.maniacworld.com/woman-vs-exit-gate.html

(Search terms:  woman versus exit gate)

#3.)  Take a look at this dog balancing a ball on its snout like a seal.

http://www.noob.us/entertainment/is-this-a-dog-or-a-seal/

(Search terms:  is this a dog or seal)